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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

sick and tired of being sick and tired

Day 16 was my last post... today would have been Day 21.
I have been ill and in bed and have done nothing.
Absolutely nothing, except try to get well.
Doctor visit today.
More info soon.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Day 16- a tweak

while I will still be holding myself accountable for accomplishing a task a day, I am no longer going to list it. just seems kind of redundant. unnecessary.

Day 16:
A Drawing:

white and grey color pencils on black stonehenge paper. still needs a little tweaking. but I ran out of time and energy. will have to complete tomorrow.

A Page:

A Quote:
9th Solution for Procrastinators by Christine Kane.
tomorrow I'll link to the whole thing.
"Don't Ask how you "FEEL" about doing the Activity.
Change your Pattern.
Make a Decision.
Do It!"

A Post:
This is SO HARD for me to do.
I remember back in college, my art teacher telling us (when we were wee babes of 18.19 yrs old) that we needed to draw, paint , create whether we felt like it or not. Don't wait for the "mood" to strike. I just could not understand how he could ask us to do that. If I tried to do anything , but I wasn't inspired, I hated whatever I produced and I would just rip it up.
I still do that.
I am doing THIS- this 365 project- to try and break me of exactly that.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Day 15- one of these days

Day 15- in, like, 3 days I think, I'm gonna have a day off. I won't be sick anymore. I'll have time and energy. and I can do a DRAWING again. something with substance. I am really looking forward to that!
A Drawing:

A Quote:
"If we're always guided by other peoples thoughts, what's the point of having our own?"
Mrs. Erlynne

A Task:
started putting together a sketchbook.
watercolor paper cut and holes punched-
cover is an encyclopedia that already had a great post set up.
I have some posts floating about, I just need to find them.
and then I'll want to decorate the cover somehow...

A Page:
I really needed to do this page because I'm stressing about being sick for so long and working more than normal and not having time to actually DRAW. I am not paying ANY attention to the whole point of doing all this in the first place. sheesh.

A Post: There will come a time when I am glad I pushed thorugh and kept doing this.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Day 13 and Day 14

couldn't post Day 13 yesterday as something was amiss and this blog kept going offline and I'd have to start all over again. quite frustrating. I gave up after several tries and decided to re-visit this evening. so... let's see how we do TONIGHT.
I wanna say one more negative thing: this is very discouraging. and I wanna give up. I had high hopes for this endeavor.  I started out with a bang. two great drawings. I knew I wouldn't have time to pull off that quality every time, but I had hoped one a week at least. however, this sickness is laying me low.I feel so exhausted all the time. barely getting through work. and I can't take a sick day because there isn't anyone to do my shift. and it's not the kind of job where you can just let it be and come back to it in a day or two. You HAVE to be there. and if you're not, then someone else needs to be.
and my body hasn't been keeping food in. when I did finally start eating after several days, my body is just expelling whatever I'm putting in.
so, yea.... that was more than one negative thing.
ok - back to the matter at hand.

Day 13: Creative Activity: (nothing for Day14)
I made several collage cards for thank you notes

Day 13: Task
Put away the Christmas decorations
Day 14: Task
Made it through the day

Day 13 and 14 : Quote:
numbers 7 and 8 from Christine Kane's 9 Simple Solutions to Procrastination
"Do It First.
 First thing in the morning- because you're telling the universe that this is your priority and then the Universe Lines up everything to align with your priority"
"Avoid nose bleed activities: e-mail, voice mail, web-stats, (facebook- I added that one) any activity that bleeds itself into your whole day- when you do it all the time then it never ends. Define times for these activities."

Day 13: Page - Affirmation Journal (nothing for Day 14)

Day 13: Post- I guess the negative rant at the beginning would be 13
Day 14: Post
This dragging on Un-wellness is certainly making me appreciate the people I know who have chronic illness,(cancer, migraines, skin conditions,  or are feeling the ravages of time with bad knees, or losing eyesight or hearing, or arthritis or anything else that causes them to be in a constant state of pain and drained energy) I admire them for making it through each day. Many of them with smiles on their faces ready to greet the next day.
In comparison, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I have been blessed with good health most of my life with only occasional little detours.
so this is me telling myself- SUCK IT UP. Move Forward. Be Grateful.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Day 11 and 12

This "sickness" is getting quite annoying. Can't seem to fully recover because I can't just stay home and sleep. I ate real food today though. That was pretty exciting. We'll see what my body thinks of it tomorrow!

Day 11:
Drawing: little sketches of what's in front of me as I work.

Day 12:
Creative Effort: a few quick simple necklaces

Day 11:
Task: Housework
Day 12:
Task: put together items I have made in the past- Art, Jewelry, Boho clothing and sold quite a bit to one of my daughters friends who is opening a store in Seattle. ABle to clear out some inventory to make way for new items. soon. but not now while I'm sick and not until I have completely finished all my 2013 endeavors.

Day 11 and Day 12 Quote- Steps 5 and 6 of Christine Kane's 9 Simple Solutions for Procrastinators:
#5: Define Qualities: You don't have to do it all now-
Define your goal and break it into smaller goals- then acknowledge it's completion.
#6: Install this System Upgrade into your Mental Hard drive: Less Is More.
Have FEWER goals- have no more than 3 priorities per week.
You don't have to Do It All.
And you don't have to Do It All NOW.

Day 11 and Day 12: Mash Up Post
Christine Kane has an excellent way of talking about things that so many Motivational Speakers, Self-Help Books, Life Coaches do not. She touches on things that others sweep under the rug, or expect you to miraculously overcome with their product-book-inspiration-whatever.
Like Procrastination: I have loved this article I've been quoting and for years I have held onto it and read it often.
My Problem with FollowThrough and Finishing is most definitely tied to Procrastination. I put it off and put it off because if I don't start it then I don't have to face the fact that maybe I'm no good at it, maybe I'll fail, maybe no one will like  my work, maybe no one will like ME.
So by Do It Now- Do It One Little Bit at a Time, agree that it's ok to Do It Badly... all of that, is so helpful.
Once I've posted all 9 Steps then I'll post her whole article.
Thanks for visiting my little blog.
All 18 of you.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Day 10 : 10 minutes to midnight- may not make it on the 10th

ha! another late listing... ah well. such is life.

Day 10:
A Drawing
2 actually.
Fiddling around with single line work.

Each portrait is one continuous line. not that easy!

A Quote:
#4 of the Simple Solutions for Procrastinators
Commit Out Loud.
Call a friend and say something you're going to do and then do it.
Call again when you're done so they can congratulate you.

A Post:
This is actually what I'm trying to do by having my Daily Challenge here on Begin Being.
I committed to it. I'm posting it. I'm hoping people will keep me accountable.

A Page:
Something REALLY simple. But a Good Message.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Day 9: Wabi Sabi

Day 9:

A Quote:
#3 of Christine Kane's 9 Simple Solutions for Procrastinators:
Agree to do it badly. Get over Perfectionism and Fear.
Set a Goal to do it badly.
Set a Goal to show up.
Let Go of Doing It ALL, or Doing It Well.

A Post:
This number in the set REALLY hits a chord with me.
If I don't like it- I rip it up- sometimes never starting over.
I put it off- so that I don't ever have to be disappointed.
That's the biggest reason why I am doing these daily posts.
My word(s) for this year are FOLLOW-THROUGH and Finish.
I need to accept the Wabi-Sabi of it all-

Just last night someone said to me "My whole LIFE is Wabi-Sabi."
yep. me too.

A Task:
definitely wabi-sabi-esque- housework- done badly, and incomplete.

A Page:
Affirmation Journal

A Drawing:
sketch done previously
but tweaked tonight

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Day 8- Reflection

Day 8:

A Drawing:
A sketch actually
I am learning to accept imperfections- improve and correct or leave it be, depends on the situation, but my old pattern was RIP it up! and start over.

A Quote:
Well I was gonna do the 9 Simple Solutions for Procrastinators by Christine Kane and then I forgot, so I did #1 on Day 6, so here we go with #2:
"All hail small chunks of time! Stop waiting for big chunks of time- we all have lots of time- it just doesn't all happen at once."

A Post:
I was just thinking about this today. How, after only 8 days of asking myself to do One Thing a Day- One Task a Day, I already feel a sense of relief. I don't have to get it all done at once. I no longer need to feel paralyzed  by the overwhelming amount of "Things To Do". If I just do One Thing. I can chip away at the Seemingly Monumental.

A Task:
Because I was so sick Sunday and Monday, and then worked nine hours no break Tuesday and then today work and my roommate/daughter is sick... our house looks pretty pathetic. I didn't try to get it all done and clean and perfect. I just did the dishes. And that's enough for today.

A Page:
I don't know what it is. I love the ocean. I love looking at it- the cool blue, the waves, the warm breeze coming off it (this is of course not describing the WA. OR. oceans , rather the southern CA. ones)
I don't like being on it (aka as Boats) but I do like being in it.  But mostly I would just like to look at it. Watch a sunset. Walk along the sand.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Day 7- a Day of Combining

Day 7:
A Page/ A Drawing/ A Quote - all in one
this is one of my little books I fiddle in - often. I never know what's going to transform on the page.
this is a drawing from a while ago, that I was not happy with, but when I separated it like this it worked out great. added the quote and I was good to go. not that the quote had ANYthing to do with the woman, but , I liked it. so there you have it.
" When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen; there will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught how to fly."    Faith by Pat Overton

A Task/ A Post:
After being sick for two days I went into work to discover several others were ill and two of us were gonna be carrying the load for the day. worked 9 hours straight no breaks. (she pulled 4.5hrs no breaks) It happens and I usually don't care. but in the aftermath of the Sick-iosity I've been experiencing it was not a lot of fun I must say.
I decided, during the quiet times, to go through my email. Started at the very bottom and combined, consolidated, categorized, eliminated, edited etc. starting from 2010 and working forward. Didn't make it to 2013 yet.
As I was going through the minutiae of my life I felt a strong sense of Cleansing as I eliminated or categorized into folders. I WANT to live a Simpler Life but I sure do Accumulate. A lot. In many areas.
Hopefully 2014 will also be the year I get that  under control once and for all.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Day 6 - still not well but I will be

Day 6:
A Post:
Starting with the post today by way of explanation.
I am a Procrastinator.
I am not proud of this fact.
I am hoping that, by posting every day in 2014- by having a Goal and sticking to it, then perhaps
by 2015 (which btw is a scary thing to say 2015- sounds so sci-fi) perhaps by 2015 I will have developed a more Positive Habit and will be better at following through. Because that's my Word for 2014 - Follow-Through.
Because I am still not feeling well, my tendency is to cancel for today.
Not gonna let myself do it.
Because once I do it once, I will find all kinds of excuses to do it again.

A Quote:
So for the Next 9 Days I am going to quote one "Solution" from Chrisine Kane's "Nine Simple Solutions For Procrastinators"
*1- When you get an idea so some little thing to begin.
       Got an Idea?
       Begin It Now.

A Page:

start on the right- that black is 2013- the rose represents my desire to blossom in 2014.
Art. Every Day.
Circle represents the fact that All of Life is a Circle. Birth to Death. and all that fits in between.

A Task:
Finished sending out the Letters I started on Dec. 26th.

A Collage:
Maybe I should change this from A Drawing to a Creative Effort, because it's not always gonna be a Drawing. Those take hours. I don't always have hours to spare in a day.

"Put A Bird On It"

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Day 5- not feeling tippy top nor 100%

Day 5:::::: A Drawing, A Task, A Quote  Page, A Post

quick sketch for a possible painting using watercolor pencils

A Task: a visit. a home cleaning task. a fixing task.

A Quote: "Safeguard the health of both body and soul." Cleobulus

A Page:
'Nuff said.

A Post:
Not feeling 100%. (pretty sure it was the Chinese food last night- haven't had any for years!)
just gonna go to bed.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Day 4 - I made it before midnight- woohoo

Day 4- ok. just in the nick of time I'm posting before the clock ticks past midnight.

A Drawing:
still something amiss with the mouth I'll have to fix that
but I'm alot happier with it than yesterday

A Second Creative Effort:
because the first was really a continued working from Day3
collage  John Stezaker style

A Task:
Completed task for today was simple : housework.
Sometimes, that's what we accomplish in a day.
Something Simple. Something DaytoDay. Something Mundane.
And I'm ok with that.

A Page:

A Quote:
"You can change your fate.
  You can sit back, or you can go after your life and all that you want to be."
Before there was: 
"During much of my life , I was anxious to be what someone else wanted me to be."
Now, there is:
"I am who I am."

A Post: 
I have always tried to be what others wanted me to be. 
I still struggle with that.
I tried to be what my parents wanted.
Went to the school they wanted me to.
Dressed, talked, acted, how they wanted me to.
I tried to be what my friends, boyfriends, husbands wanted me to be,
Now , finally, I'm trying to be who I want to be.
I still find myself weighing in others opinions over mine.
But I'm working on it.

Day 3 (posted on Day 4 because I seem to have some kind of problem with doing these before midnight)

Day 3-
A Drawing:
colored pencil fairy

A Quote:
"Life itself is the most beautiful fairy tale." Hans Christian Andersen

A Task:
Today I went to the post office and mailed off several items that should have been sent long before.
There are still 3 packages to go, but at least I got some gone- outta here- sent to their destinations.

A Page:
completed this page in my artists journal: We Are Everyone

A Post:
Life. We get One.
One Body. Treat it Right. Treat it with Respect.
One Soul. Love God. Love Yourself. Love Others.
One Earth on which to Live. Treat it well so that Others in the Future may live also.
One Life to Live.
A small Fraction of Time to Be Here, to Be with those we Love.

We Are Everyone- Connected- Part of a Whole- We Are Everyone.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Day2- all those other things plus stuff

Day 2:
(ok technically it's Day 3 cuz it's after midnight but my circadian rhythm does not do well with mornings. I stay up. )

A Drawing- 
not as fancy schmancy as yesterday- but then I worked today:

In our every day lives we wear many masks. 
Some we wear on purpose, others we are unaware that we have chosen to wear.
This is a quick sketch with a painting or collage in mind.

And here is a quick collage with a painting in mind: 

I'm thinking I'd like to do something about the conflict between our adult self and our child self. 
Not sure where this is going yet.

A Quote- 
"When I Let Go of what I Am, I Become what I Might Be.
When I Let Go of what I Have, I Receive what I Need." 
Tao Te Ching

A Task- 
well, again today I did not get accomplished what I had on my list... but I did get things packaged up to ship out . Just couldn't make it to the Post Office because of work. So tomorrow for that task.
I was also able to write an email that had been postponed far too long, and had an hour long phone call conversation.
On the days that I work I do not get as much done as I'd like. But that's ok. Because I worked.
I need to learn to be kind to myself.

A Page- 
Not a detailed page. I have these little notebooks in which I write down and collage and sketch all manner of things (including quotes and task lists and sketches for future work) I think I have about 35 by now. Been filling them up for years and years. Here's a quick sketch for a painting or collage or both- mixed media-idea. Maybe a series...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Day 1 : A Drawing- A Quote- A Task- A Page- A Post

Day 1:
Each Day in 2014, Rain or Shine, Busy or Not, I Seek to Do Each of these:
A Drawing- A Quote- A Task- A Page- A Post

A Drawing:  Something. Anything. A Doodle. A Drawing.
                     Just Something Creative.
A Quote:      Inspiration: to Keep me Going.
A Task:        Complete Something: Housework. Phone Call. Letter Written.
                     Just Something Completed.
A Page:        Pages in a Journal: Reflective Words. Affirmations. Artists Entry.
A Post:         Here on Begin Being.

Day 1:

A Drawing:                                                        
AJ- 3 year old pistol of a granddaughter during a quiet moment

A Quote:
“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.” 
Carl Bard

A Task: 
My Completed Task for today was making a sizeable Dent in the Clean-up and Organization of my living/work space.
I have decided that , instead of concentrating on what I DIDN'T get done by end of day, I will instead, look at what I DID complete. Having this ( A Task) as one of my Daily Items will help me to Focus on this more Positive Outlook- the Completion of Things.

A Page: 
This time it was the completion of a Page in my Affirmation Journal.

A Post:
My drawing for today was also a Follow-Through. A Finish. A Completion.
It is a Christmas Present that was not completed on time.
Not all my Daily Drawings will be this Detailed or Complex. Some may just be a quick line drawing. But of the 5 Items I have given myself to Do Daily- I am the most excited about this one.
2013 was Sadly Lacking in Creativity.
Being Creative gives me Energy.
I am Excited for this Venture.